QUALITIES OF A CAPABLE WIFE

QUALITIES OF A CAPABLE WIFE

A lot have been said by different scholars and authors about the above topic because while the man is the HEAD of the family, the wife is said to be the NECK. We all know the role
our NECK play with regards to the functioning of our head and the body as a whole. Though the head is the site of wisdom and decision making, without the neck the decisions cannot get to the other parts of the body for execution. Not to forget is the fact that the neck actually help in rotating and adjusting the position of the head. That been the case, the role of a wife in the family is as important as that of the NECK to the body.  This in turn calls for great responsibility on the part of the Woman if she will be able to perform her duties as a CAPABLE WIFE well in the family. It is understood that majority of the ladies we have around lack these qualities, and this might be one of the reasons why we have a large number of unmarried ladies of marriageable age in the society and the world at large. But how can we cultivate the qualities of a capable wife if we don’t already have them all?  How can we recognize them when we come across one? These questions will be answered during the course of this article, but before that, let’s look at the definitions of some terms. Our discussion will be based on PROVERBS 31: 10-31. We will be considering it in PIECE MEAL.

 1. CAPABLE: Longman Lexicon of Contemporary English defines it as having the qualities or abilities to do something well.

 2. CAPABLE WIFE: is defined as a married woman that performs her wifely duties or roles very well to the best of her ability.

 The first section will be taken from PROVERBS 31: 10- 12, it says, “A capable wife who can find, her value is far more than that of corals. In her the heart of her owner has put trust, and there is no gain lacking. She has rewarded him with good not bad, all the days of her life. VERSE 10: make it clear that getting a CAPABLE WIFE is very DIFFICULT especially now that we live in a world with low moral values, a world that glorifies those with bad and questionable characters, a world were majority of the girls place more value on their physical appearance than their characters, which is the secret person of the heart that has more value in the sight of God. It is good to always look good, because we should dress the way we want to be addressed, and looking good, is good business. However, this should not be done at the expense of our good conducts. So a man that is fortunate to find a capable wife should be very happy, because she is worth more than millions of precious stones. VERSE 11: makes it clear that the husband of a capable wife puts his trust in her in that he has the confidence that whatever tasks she is given either in his presence or absence, she is going to deliver well. He also trust her in that whatever they discuss in secret, she will never disclose to a third party, in good or bad times. This is one area that most women are guilty of. Once they are privileged to know some of your secrets, most will be looking for the next little misunderstanding to tell the tales to the world. That is very wrong. We should learn to keep secrets no matter the condition both good and bad.  It also says that there is no gain lacking. This means that the household does lack anything good, but lack bad things that will affect the household adversely. VERSE 12: makes it clear that she reward her husband with good even when he does not deserve it all the day of her life. She does this through her words, actions, and decisions. She does not pay back evil for evil. Though this lesson is directed mainly to the Ladies, men can also learn from it.

 PROVERBS 33: 13-15, it says and i quote "she has sought wool and linen, and she works at whatever is the delight of her hands. She has proved to be like the ships of a merchant, from far away she brings in her food. She also wakes up while it is still night and gives food to her household, and the prescribed portion to her young women. end of quote. (New Word Translation). VERSE 13: says she sew wool and linen. This does not mean that she is an experience fashion designer, rather it means that she knows how to do minor amendments on clothes using needle and thread or a sewing machine if she has one, thus saving the resources of her husband and uses them for other necessary things. She works at whatever is the delight of her hand means she discovers her gifts, talents, or abilities. it can be cooking, trading, making hair or clothes etc, works on it to become more proficient and use it to assist her family, others, and raise funds for the family i.e. she learns a skill. VERSE 14: says she has prove to be like the ships of a merchant, from far away she brings in her food, meaning that she is not satisfied with merely going to the market to buy food stuff for the family, but she goes to the parts of the market that she knows she will get the items at a cheaper price even if it means walking long distances, and that she also knows the right time to go to the market to get the items at a cheaper price. She also knows the various markets in the community where she can get the various food items cheap, and also goes to get them for her family thus saving funds. VERSE 15: says she also get up while others are still asleep to start attending to house duties like cooking, cleaning, washing, etc and ensure that they have something to eat no matter how small when they wake up from sleep. It also says she gives the prescribe portion to her young women means that though she is very hard working, she does not encourage laziness and incapability by her young women, so she starts teaching them how to carry out various duties so that they will grow up to become responsible, capable and independent adults.

 PROVERBS 31: 16- 18, reads, she has considered a field and proceeded to obtain it, from the fruitage of her hands and she planted a vineyard. She has girded her hips with strength, and she invigorates her arms. She has sensed that her trading is good, her lamp does not go out at night. VERSE 16; says she buys a field from the fruitage of her hands and planted a vineyard. It means that she was able to raise large sum of money from her business that could make her get properties for the family. This she does with the permission of her husband recognizing he is her head. Whatever she does, is not to bring praise to herself, but to bring praise to her husband, family, and God. She also planted a vineyard means that apart from her business, she also has a garden were she plants vegetables, and other things she uses in cooking for the family. She knows that because we are living in an uncertain world, there are going to be times when there will not be money to feed the family, but with the harvest from her garden, they will survive until things normalize. She also uses the things from her garden to cook for the family, so that she will have to buy little of nothing thus saving the family funds. VERSE 17: shows that she is very  hard working, because she keep on working even when she is suppose to be resting knowing she has to care for her family very well. VERSE 18, shows that she is good in whatever business or trade she does, thus raising more funds for herself and the family. Her lamp does not go out at night means that she plans ahead. She knows what the family have and does not have. She does not wait for any of the house hold items to be completely finished, before she makes plans to replace then, rather she replaces them as soon as she notice that they will soon finish. Ladies! What kind of wife do you want to be in future? A full house wife? Meaning you are not going to engage in any other business apart from making babies and taking care of your household, thus depending solely on your husband for funds. How will you cope when he loses his job, or the inevitable happens? Food for thought! Or do you want to become a full career woman? By this I mean that you concentrate majorly on making money, and have little or no time for caring for your family. A capable wife should balance both activities as they are both important for the smooth running of the family.

PROVERBS 31; 19-21 says and i quote “Her hands seize the distaff, and her hands take holds of the spindle. She extends her hands to the lowly one, and she opens her hands to the poor. She does not worry about her household because of the snow, for her whole household is clothed in warm garments.  The point we are picking from here is that ‘She extends her hands to the lowly one, and she opens her hands to the poor. Ladies are you the type that is very stingy even with the needs you don’t need? Are you the type that when your husband wants to give money or things to assist his family members or those in need that will be the time you will present your endless need of the things you want? Are you the type that does not make your inlaws comfortable in your husbands house, But if it’s your family members, you will treat them with all care and ensure that they get the best of everything? Such attitude is very wrong and has broke many marriages today. Be careful not to fall into this trap and treat everyone equally.

PROVERBS 31: 22-24, says, coverlets, she has made for herself. Her clothing is of linen and wool dyed reddish purple. Her owner is someone known in the gates, when he sits down with the older men of the land. She has made even undergarments and proceeded to sell them, and belts she has given to the tradesmen. VERSE 22: makes mention of a capable wife making coverlets (bedspreads) for herself. It shows that apart from being good in domestic activities, she is also good in bed that is why she provides whatever will make sleeping with her husband enjoyable. It also shows that a capable wife has a high fashion sense, that is why her clothing is of linen and wool dyed reddish purple. She knows how to combine wears and colors of things to put on to any occasion that will suit the purpose of the occasion, with modesty and soundness of mind. VERSE 23: makes it clear that she brings, praise, glory, and honor to her husband through her conducts, words, decisions, and actions that is why her owner is someone known at the gates, when he sits down with the older men of the land. VERSE 24: makes it clear that she provides for the needs of her husband and children to the extent of undergarments, that is why she makes undergarments, after satisfying her family needs, she sells the surplus to the tradesmen. It also shows that she is very sociable that is why she can sell her various produces to the public and raise funds for herself and family. Ladies please always try to satisfy your husband marital dues, so he will not have reasons to look elsewhere for it!

PROVERBS 31: 25-27. Says, strength and splendor are her clothing, and she laughs at a future day. Her mouth she has opened in wisdom and the law of loving kindness is upon her tongue. She is watching over the going on of her house hold, and the bread of laziness she does not eat.  VERSE 25 shows that she is very hard working because she clothe herself with strength and splendor, meaning she does not easily get tired. she laughs at a future day shows that she has vision, foresight, and discernment to sense a noble course and pursue it, even if it means sacrificing  her time, resources, strength, convenience, etc because she knows the rich rewards that awaits them in the future, thus "smiling".  She believes in suffering today so that they can enjoy tomorrow. she prefer to stick to a hard working man with prospect for the future even if he is poor today, than a wealthy man that she don’t see a future with. This is where most ladies are getting it wrong today. Most 21^st century ladies prefer to enjoy everything today forgetting that there are many days ahead.  VERSE 26, shows that she is very cautious of what she says, because it can affect her personality either for good or bad. She does not take part in idle talks, harmful gossips, back biting, etc. rather she gives wise, reliable, & sound counsels to her husband, children, friends, and acquaintances. VERSE 27, says she is watching over the going on of her house hold in that she knows details about almost everything going on in the life’s of her husband, and children because she is a very good communicator. She knows their needs, abilities, likes etc individually. She knows when they are sad individually and what to say or do to make them happy. This is also where many ladies are getting it wrong, it becomes worst when they are wealthy and have house maids. There are certain duties that can never and should never be delegated by the woman to a third party not even a relative. They include washing his under wears, making his bed, fetching his bathing water, making and serving his food and many more. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so says a wise proverb. By allowing their maids to prepare and serve their husbands food. Some women has given the key to their man’s heart to the maid, no wonder some end up marrying their maid’s and chasing out the madam. Women should guide against this with all their might. The bread of laziness, she does not eat means she is not lazy, but rather very industrious. Ladies, are you a good communicator? How do you relate with your parents, siblings, and others? Are you friendly or harsh? Always remember, thoughts in the heart of a man, are like waters in a deep well, only the one with discernment (a good communicator) can draw them out.

 PROVERBS 31:28-30. Reads thus, her sons have risen up and proceeded to pronounce her happy, her owner rises up and he praises her. There are many daughters that have shown capableness, but you- you have ascended above them all. Charm may be false, and prettiness may be vain, but the woman that fears Jehovah is the one that has procure praise for herself. The three verses talks about the rewards of a capable wife. Let us now look at them critically. VERSE 28, shows that all the beautiful qualities of a capable wife are noticed by the world, including her husband and children, that is why her sons will rise and pronounce her happy and her husband will praise her. This will also earn her their love, respect, support, generosity, consideration, understanding, patient, and many more good things. VERSE 29, is the romantic words of her husband to her, acknowledging the fact that there are other girls with the qualities of a capable wife, but she has proved herself uniquely evident in performing her wifely duties. For this she is going to have his love, trust, and fidelity, for the rest of her life until death do them part! VERSE 30: talks about the most important quality of a capable wife. This quality summaries all the other ones. It says that the woman that fears Jehovah is the one that procure praise for herself. A woman that fears God will not exhibit bad manners. it means that you can be very charming, pretty, have all the other qualities, but once this is lacking, every other thing is a waste. This is so because you will not get God’s blessings now, and in the future everlasting life. i know all have benefitted a lot from the article, let’s put them into practice to help attract the right man to us and make our homes paradise on earth. ( LIVING EVIDENCE FOUNDATION)